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We actually sleep until 4am today...Emma makes toasted ham and cheese breakfast sandwiches and I work on my blog. It really is nice to have this house to live in while we're here. Yeah, it's a long way from the excitement of downtown Kirovograd, but we'll deal with it. Like clockwork, Gregori is there waiting for us at 6:30 to take us to the town of Dobrovelitchko where we have an 8:30 appointment with the city officials. Gregori obviously hasn't spent any money on his shocks, but his driving is still as crazy. But it's not really his fault as the roads are soooooo bad. It's still dark as we cruise down these horrible two lane roads for 90 minutes, bouncing and swerving around slow moving traffic. Halfway thru the trip, the sun rises and the frost begins to melt on the recently plowed sunflower fields. We will make this trip two more times, with the final trip being the last time Vanya will wake up at his school orphanage. We wonder how he feels about this huge change in his life. I'm sure he is excited, but at the same time he must think its a bit scary to leave everything he's familiar with to move to the other side of the world with a couple of perfect strangers.
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We arrive in the town of Dobrovelitchko and Gregori drops us off at the city center with a statue of Lenin greeting all who visit. We are taken into a room full of happy civil servants, welcoming us into their little village. Vanya's social worker Irina is there working on the computer to get the final forms prepared. We sit and listen to all of the woman chatting away about who-knows-what as we wait to meet the mayor. At about 8:15, Vanya walks in with his counselor Alexei. We didn't expect to see him here at the Mayor's office so it is a wonderful surprise and hugs are shared - it seems like we haven't been apart at all. We need to be careful tho as we haven't officially met Vanya, remember? OMG - it is so nice to see him...he looks great and he seems very happy to see us. Apparently he was pretty depressed after we left in August, thinking we wouldn't come back to get him. His friends had probably put thoughts in his head that we were only going to adopt his brothers - 'who would want to adopt an eleven year old boy???'...so he was quite pleased to know that we wanted him as well as his brothers! Vanya takes my camera and starts taking pictures of everything in sight - he really does have a good eye for photography!
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At 8:30 we are escorted into the Mayor's office where we are seated in front of a panel of people waiting to hear our case. Irina reads our case to the panel while Natasha translates for us. Vanya sits shyly between us as his life is discussed in detail, and our request to adopt is presented to the board. The Mayor is quite the character, strong and confident and obviously has control of his town. He asks Vanya if he is okay with the adoption and Vanya says "Da". Vanya tells him he is a football player and the Mayor explains that he too is interested in sport and asks Vanya if he smokes (tongue in cheek of course), and explains that sports and smoking do not mix. I'm sure its a bit over-whelming for Vanya, but I enjoy the way the Mayor addresses us. They ask to see pictures of Vanya's room so I pass the camera around showing photos of his room with the Ukrainian flag, etc. - one of the guys at the table scans over to the recent pictures of the scorpions we had caught before we left and asked "so - you have scorpions???". I tell him we don't have them anymore! The Mayor gives his blessing and wishes us well and we are escorted out of his office to wait for the signed documents. Oh - and guess what...everybody in the village is talking about the boys mother giving birth to yet another son, and the latest bit of gossip is that she actually gave birth to twin boys! Born premature, she plans on picking them up from the hospital after they get strong enough. This won't affect our process - I guess they just figure that she'll just keep makin babies!!
We walk over to Vanya's school and meet up with the Director of the school orphanage to discuss Vanya's situation, his grades and his interests. I guess this is the official visit so we have to go thru the motions, even tho we have already met her last August. Alexei works on the documents as we chat with the Director and try to get Vanya to talk. He has suddenly gone quiet and shy on us - he's probably tired of everybody talking about him and he just wants to get back to his friends!
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Observation time - when we were here back in late August, we had a different impression of his environment than we did today. It seems like they don't run as tight a ship here as they do at the baby orphanage. I realize were dealing with older kids, mostly boys ranging from 6 to 16, and with over 150 kids it must be quite a challenge for the staff. But it just doesn't appear like they enforce standard rules of behavior or provide consequences (positive or negative) for things like mediocre grades or class attendance. Maybe we just don't see it, and maybe its merely because we are here and Vanya can do as he pleases for this one special day. But it just doesn't 'feel' like the counselors/teachers are truly pushing these kids and providing positive guidance. For instance, when we asked the Director how Vanya's school work was, she shrugged her shoulders and said "middle of the pack...so-so", with no real concern from Vanya or Alexei that maybe it should be better - that maybe it really should be more important than football!
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And when we asked Vanya about his watch we bought him, his response was "I gave it to a friend..." And what about the soccer ball and Spanish uniform we bought for you? "I also gave those away to a friend..." Okay - so what, right? They were presents to him and he had every right to give them away, but to just hand over a fairly expensive watch - his first gift from his Papa, seems to be either a general lack of understanding as to the value and meaning of a gift, or he's just a very generous person and he knows that he is leaving soon and maybe he's feeling a bit guilty with his friends about his new life. Or could it possibly be that he was forced to hand stuff over to the older kids to survive??? Who knows, but we both found it a bit unsettling. Plus we paid for six weeks of special one-on-one English classes that never happened - something to do with the old lady in the village not being well. And when Alexei realized that we got wind of it, he approached me with the cash and apologized. I told him to keep the money for the school, to which he replied that maybe he could buy cookies for the kids with it...did he really try? Will he just pocket the money? Who knows - who really cares, but it just adds to the strange feeling about the place that we didn't have before.
Poor thing - I asked Vanya if he had ever been to Kiev and he said he had been their once when he went with his sister and father earlier this year to determine paternity and his father rejected him when he found out he wasn't his father...;^(
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After we left the Director's office, Vanya took us on a tour of his school and dormitory. We passed by many of his friends who were heading off to lunch - him looking like an all-American boy with my Michigan hat and backpack strapped on his back (his choice btw). He must've been quite a sight for his buddies to take in, as he beamed with pride showing off his new parents. He took us up to the top floor of the dorm and showed us his tiny little space in the middle of a sea of twin beds. So sad to see that he has absolutely no privacy and no space to put any of his things - if he even had any things! He showed us the clothing schedule where each child has a certain day to wear certain clothes, and they just rotate each day!
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He grabs my hand and we head outside to go to the store to get something to drink. We follow along as he takes us out of the school grounds to the huge market across the street. It looks like some sort of Marrakesh Bazaar with crazy Moroccans selling everything from shoes to medicines to potatoes. The market is a maze of temporary stalls anchored by an occasional toy store, drink shops and restaurants. Funny thing is, he knows every nook and cranny of this market, weaving in and out like Oliver Twist through a London market. I give him 50 UAH (about $6) and he stops at three or four shops buying gifts for his friends and his brothers. He is quite confidant and streetwise, not to mention generous and thoughtful. He comes across as quite the wheeler dealer as he talks to the vendors and buys his stuff. Emma is a bit concerned about this side of Vanya we hadn't really seen before, but I find it kind of cool and reassuring that he knows how to handle himself. I'm sure it has something to do with being on your own and developing strong survival instincts. It really is a bit of a shock to see how independent and 'alone' he is, compared to American kids his age.
I think Emma feels sad to see that he really is on his own, wheeling and dealing to get by - a realization that this sweet little eleven year old boy has been forced to become a man so soon in his young life, and Emma just wants him to go back to being a boy again! I think we are getting him out of here just in time...we'll just need to keep him off The Strip for a few years...;^)
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Time to head back to Kirovograd as Vanya needs to get back to his schoolwork (and football). All in all, a very successful day with paperwork completed and approval from the Mayor. We hug Vanya goodbye (not before I had to 'buy' my cell phone back from him) and tell him we'll try to visit this weekend. By 12:30pm we are back on the bumpy road and at 2pm we are home. We have pizza for lunch and we all lay down to take a nap. Six hours later we wake up and wonder how we could've slept so long in the middle of the day! I think the emotional energy has been drained from our bodies and we still haven't adjusted to the time zone - and we're just plain exhausted. We watch a bit of reality TV, Ukrainian style and eat dinner while I write in my blog. Back in bed by 11pm...one step at a time and we're almost there!!! Good night.
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Vanya's pictures - quite good eh?
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